THIS IS

Jody Explody's Badass Urban Jungle - Episode 0

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Jody comes face-to-face with a rare Siberian Bibblebear.

I am confident that my profound insight will fill a void in your soul

Now that I’ve sucked back a few (twelve) beers and my hostility towards the blogosphere has ebbed, I’d like to take a moment to reflect upon a few significant issues. Issue Roman numeral one (I) being that Bostonians should be ashamed of the mind-blowing idiocy demonstrated during their collective hallucination that light-up cartoon characters were somehow part of a terrorist plot to destroy white people. Shame on you!

Issue Roman numeral two (II) is a list of topics that should be incorporated into reality TV shows:

Pirates
Astronauts
Drug dealers
Drug addicts
Pregnant mothers
Midgets
Pregnant midgets
Terrorists on airplanes
Terrorists who plant light-up cartoon characters in public places
Terrorists in outer-space
Pregnant mothers in outer-space
Zombies

I need to lose weight!

After dissecting Teena’s wonderfully stimulating blog, I’ve come to the conclusion that I require a ticker of some sort to display my progress towards a goal in order to validate my existence as a productive human being. Behold! My weight loss ticker:

I have taken it upon myself to seek out and exploit the most mind-numbing blogs in an attempt to bolster my reputation (and ego). Today's selection is a very thought provoking analysis of the virtues of NyQuil, domesticated house pets, and extensive lists of daily activities. Oh, and she’s from Canada.

http://purple4mee.blogspot.com/

They've just created a blog for me. I can now add my posts to it, create my personal profile, or customize how my blog looks! I am overwhelmed with a feeling of limitless power. Through my pointed, witty, and otherwise inspiring rants about encounters with angry hobos, rising gas prices, girls that don’t know I exist, and drugs that I have ingested, I will single-handedly revolutionize the “blogosphere” (or whatever the hell kids are calling it these days) and become not only the world’s greatest blogger, but the most loved and respected human being of all time (Jesus had a good run though).

In honor of myself, I dedicate this first post to... myself:

Today I sat in my room and did nothing. I think I went outside. Or was that yesterday? I really can’t remember.