I am confident that my profound insight will fill a void in your soul

Now that I’ve sucked back a few (twelve) beers and my hostility towards the blogosphere has ebbed, I’d like to take a moment to reflect upon a few significant issues. Issue Roman numeral one (I) being that Bostonians should be ashamed of the mind-blowing idiocy demonstrated during their collective hallucination that light-up cartoon characters were somehow part of a terrorist plot to destroy white people. Shame on you!

Issue Roman numeral two (II) is a list of topics that should be incorporated into reality TV shows:

Pirates
Astronauts
Drug dealers
Drug addicts
Pregnant mothers
Midgets
Pregnant midgets
Terrorists on airplanes
Terrorists who plant light-up cartoon characters in public places
Terrorists in outer-space
Pregnant mothers in outer-space
Zombies