I need to lose weight!

After dissecting Teena’s wonderfully stimulating blog, I’ve come to the conclusion that I require a ticker of some sort to display my progress towards a goal in order to validate my existence as a productive human being. Behold! My weight loss ticker:

I have taken it upon myself to seek out and exploit the most mind-numbing blogs in an attempt to bolster my reputation (and ego). Today's selection is a very thought provoking analysis of the virtues of NyQuil, domesticated house pets, and extensive lists of daily activities. Oh, and she’s from Canada.

http://purple4mee.blogspot.com/

They've just created a blog for me. I can now add my posts to it, create my personal profile, or customize how my blog looks! I am overwhelmed with a feeling of limitless power. Through my pointed, witty, and otherwise inspiring rants about encounters with angry hobos, rising gas prices, girls that don’t know I exist, and drugs that I have ingested, I will single-handedly revolutionize the “blogosphere” (or whatever the hell kids are calling it these days) and become not only the world’s greatest blogger, but the most loved and respected human being of all time (Jesus had a good run though).

In honor of myself, I dedicate this first post to... myself:

Today I sat in my room and did nothing. I think I went outside. Or was that yesterday? I really can’t remember.